In the years before going to Hebron, I didn’t really know what life was all about. I was just a lost soul existing in a world that I didn’t want to be in. I’d suffered from eating disorders since the age of about 14 and started self-harming and using drugs and drink by age 16. I’d jump from one addiction to another just to fill that empty hole inside of me and to bury my fear and despair. I spent years in and out of psychiatric wards, eating disorder and self-harm units and hospital admissions became a way of life for me. I actually don’t remember my twenty’s very well. I didn’t know how to do life and I also got in trouble with the police a lot.

Towards the end of my drinking days, I’d smashed up my car and got done for drink-driving. I’d been thrown out of my accommodation because of my behaviour and I’d had numerous failed suicide attempts. I was hurting myself badly and I didn’t realise how much I was hurting the people around me. My lowest point came when I jumped on the railway and got sectioned by the police. For the first time I decided I thought I need help. I realised that this couldn’t get much lower.

When I walked into the door at Hebron for the very first time – for my interview – the first thing I felt was warmth and peace. I don’t think I’d felt something quite like it before. By this time I was desperate for help and after my interview I didn’t want to go home.

While I was in Hebron, I had a chance to put life on pause and take a good long look at my behaviour and work things out in my head. The staff were really patient with me and as time went on with doing groups and the 12 Step work, things became clearer. I realised that actually I wasn’t a mental patient – I was a person who had the disease of addiction and had hopelessly lost her way in life. I realised that all the problems I had were because of addiction.

I learnt to apply the tools of recovery to each of my addictions in the same way. I also learnt how to socialise and be around people without having to have a drink or drug in my system. Also, all the Hebron rules were important to me because they gave me back the discipline in my life that had been lost. When I left Hebron , I felt quite excited about giving it all a go on the outside and I’m so grateful for the amount of support that Hebron Aftercare gave me. I started by doing a few things each day – including my meetings [AA, NA and at the Eating Disorders Association], church and voluntary work.

Now I am two years sober and have got a very fulfilled life. Even when it’s hard, if I can put my head on the pillow at the end of the day and say ‘thank you God that I haven’t picked up a drink today’, then it’s been a good day.

The last two years I can honestly say have been the best two years of my entire life. I still find some things hard, but have realised that so does every human being and I don’t need to drink on it. I will be forever grateful to Hebron for the second chance at life that I have been given. And I ‘m grateful to God for sending me to Hebron at just the right time.

Hebron taught me how to love and that’s what I needed to learn.